i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
