i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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