I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
