Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
