I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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