there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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