she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
