I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
