Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
