Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
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