worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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