The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
no you cant smoke seaweed
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
