i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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