i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Randomize
