elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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