according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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