omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
