somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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