try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
