wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize