I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
