i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm bleeding and have questions
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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