Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
