I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
