just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
