She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
