i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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