had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
