Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize