Dude my mom stole all your condoms
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
