he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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