Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
