obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
