Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
