I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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