Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
