...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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