I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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