i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
