Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize