They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
