they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
