Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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