This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
