New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Randomize
