i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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