Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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