last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize