Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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