Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
