yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
