My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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