I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
