he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Text me some of your sweat
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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