why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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