So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
