My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
