I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
