me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
