So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Please don't give away my fajitas
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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